The Game of Motivation… How to Win (And Why You’re Probably Losing)
Let’s get real about motivation. It’s one of those things that seems easy in theory but can feel impossible when you’re trying to make something happen. One day you’re fired up, ready to conquer the world, and the next, getting off the couch feels like an Olympic event.
Here’s the thing: motivation isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you play. Like a game. And the key to winning is understanding the rules, working in alignment with you biology, and learning how to use the two types of motivation—intrinsic and extrinsic—to your advantage.
You’re not stuck. You just need a new game plan. Here’s how you can play to win.
The Two Types of Motivation (And Why You Need Both)
Let’s break it down. Most people think of motivation as this single force, but it actually comes in two flavors:
Intrinsic Motivation: This is the stuff that comes from within. For instance, doing something because it matters to you personally. Maybe it’s improving at something just because you love the process or hitting the gym because you like the way it feels to get stronger. Think about what you genuinely enjoy doing—what makes you feel alive?
Extrinsic Motivation: This is all the external stuff—rewards, recognition, and avoiding failure. It’s why you might work hard to get a promotion or train for a race because your friends are watching. And guess what? There’s nothing wrong with that. External rewards can be a powerful push when you need it. You’ll also never get rid of these external desires so you might as well you them to help enrich your life.
Here’s a quick question for you: Where’s your motivation coming from today? What’s driving you?
Mastering Motivation: The Balance Between Intrinsic and Extrinsic Forces
At the heart of motivation, what we’re really seeking are internal reasons to go after things. It’s about getting clear on what you want—not what society, your job, or external pressures tell you.
Ask yourself questions like:
What would I do if I didn’t need money?
What kinds of workouts would I do if I didn’t care about others' opinions?
What would I pursue if I wasn’t afraid of failure?
The goal here is to find joy in what you’re doing. But let’s be clear: it’s not about mindlessly chasing fun or comfort. If all you did was play video games and eat ice cream, sure, it might be fun in the moment, but that kind of short-term gratification will destroy your life. You’d end up unfulfilled and stuck.
So, instead, you need a clear goal and purpose that not only excites you but pushes you to grow. That’s where intrinsic motivation shines. And it’s why it’s so powerful when you can tap into it. But, here's the thing: intrinsic motivation alone isn’t enough. Humans are naturally wired to take the path of least resistance. We evolved this way for survival—our ancestors needed to conserve energy because food and resources were scarce. You didn’t waste energy unless it was necessary.
In today’s world, this biological drive to conserve energy manifests as procrastination or lack of action, especially when tasks seem difficult or boring. You’ll always be drawn to the easier option unless you design your life to make the right choices inevitable.
Purpose: Your North Star
Start with purpose. This hits on the deep human need for meaning. We all need to feel like what we’re doing matters. It’s the drive that keeps us moving when things get hard. You need a goal that makes you think, This is worth my time, energy, and effort.
Turn your life into a game:
Find a goal you actually want: Everyone has different goals but go for something that is actually worth the effort. Write it down and why it’s important to you and pursue it.
Level up: Break your goals into smaller stages, each with clear rewards or milestones.
Find a tribe: Work with friends, build communities, or connect with others pursuing similar goals.
Make hard things fun: Reframe difficult tasks by injecting competition or fun into them, whether through challenges, friendly competition, or rewards for hitting milestones.
Intrinsic Motivation: The Long-Term Fuel
Intrinsic motivation is amazing. It’s that feeling of doing something just because it matters to you, without needing external validation. But here’s the truth: it’s hard to cultivate consistently. Humans are wired for short-term pleasure and will naturally seek out the easiest path (think binge-watching shows or scrolling through social media instead of hitting the gym).
That’s where extrinsic motivation plays a crucial role. We can’t ignore how short-term incentives can help bridge the gap when we don’t feel internally driven. Sometimes, you just need a nudge—a reward, a deadline, or social pressure to get moving.
Extrinsic Motivation: The Boost When You Need It
Extrinsic motivation isn’t just about money, trophies, or public recognition. It’s about designing your environment and using external forces to guide you when your natural instincts push you toward the couch.
Here’s how to harness extrinsic motivation effectively:
Time scarcity: Realize how short life is. We only get so much time, and we could die at any moment. Let that urgency fuel you. If you knew you had limited time, you’d act differently. Why wait?
Social accountability: Tell friends or post your goals online. When others are watching, you’re more likely to stick to your commitments because you don’t want to let them down.
Commitment devices: Set up consequences for failing to act, like donating money to a cause you don’t support if you miss a workout. Leverage the human fear of loss to push you forward.
Progress tracking: Use apps or journals to see your progress visually. Progress can be a massive motivator, as each small win makes you want the next one.
Extrinsic motivation can be incredibly powerful in short bursts, helping you push through those moments where intrinsic motivation just isn’t enough.
Actionable Steps: How to Play (and Win) the Game of Motivation
Now that you’ve got the rules, here’s how to start playing and, more importantly, win:
Purpose: Find your deeper "why" and anchor yourself to it.
Why does this goal matter to me on an emotional level?
Action: Take consistent action, small steps to build momentum.
What’s the easiest action I can take today to move forward?
Control: Master your environment and routines for focus and progress.
What can I change in my environment to make progress easier?
Transformation: Become the person who achieves your goals.
Who do I need to become to reach my goals, and how can I start acting like that person today?
By following the P.A.C.T. Framework, you make a promise to yourself. You commit to your purpose, take action, control your environment, and, in the process, undergo transformation. It’s not just about achieving goals—it’s about becoming the person who makes those goals a reality.
Each step in this framework strengthens your pact, driving you toward transformation in a powerful, structured way. You’re no longer just setting goals—you’re shaping your future, step by step.